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SHOULD WE NOT LOVE AFTER BEING BROKEN BEFORE?

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It can be very scary starting again. It may feel impossible at the moment but, there is good news- you can, and will, fall in love again. However, the next time you are in love will probably feel different than it did before you had your heart broken. The experience will change because you have changed.

One way to love again is to shift the way you look at your heartbreak. Rather than thinking of it as something to be scared of or avoided, remember that your heartbreak makes you strong and brave. To feel heartbroken, you must first feel a lot of love. Some people are so closed off that they never feel strongly enough about someone to get heartbroken. Your experience with heartbreak should not turn you into one of those people.

Don’t let a broken heart ruin you.

Learning to trust and love again after someone has shattered your heart is perhaps one of the most challenging things you do.

Allow yourself to feel all your feelings.

It will take you some time to recover from heartbreak. You will feel sad, angry, or confused. Although it may be tempting to numb your feelings, if they aren’t addressed, chances are they will catch up to you. Rather, be patient with them and give yourself time to process them before letting them go fully.

Remember that you can love deeply. Just because it did not work out before does not mean you should be afraid to do it again. It takes bravery to give your heart to someone, even more so after a heartbreak. But you do have the courage to love again.

My first heartbreak taught me that it’s okay to feel things that are uncomfortable because life isn’t always pleasant. It may be hard, but try to allow yourself to experience whatever feelings come up.

Whatever it is that you’re feeling, allow it to come and go like waves instead of pretending it doesn’t exist or fighting it.

Unfortunately, there is no way to safeguard yourself from heartbreak. But, every time it happens you grow emotionally stronger. You know you can get through heartbreak and come out of the other side with your ability to love intact. The only thing that can cause you not to love again after heartbreak is you letting your fear stop you from opening up to another person.

Getting Over Heartbreak To Love Again

Getting over your heartbreak and loving again will not happen overnight, but with some time it is possible. While everyone gets over heartbreak at their own rate, there are some helpful ways to speed up the process and ease your transition from heartbreak to loving again.

Have a good bunch to talk to

No person is an island. Admitting that you are going through a hard time and finding friends and family who are willing to listen to your struggles can make a world of a difference.

It is an important life skill to be self-reliant and to feel comfortable being alone. But, when dealing with heartbreak, there is only so much you can do for yourself. During this time, it is best to lean on your support system or build one up if you lack a strong support system.
Along with emotional support, these people can prevent you from going back to your ex. At any moment you feel tempted to reach out to your ex, call or text a friend instead. Your support system can help hold you back so that you do not make any regression in your process of healing from your heartbreak so that you can love again.

It is best to have multiple people you can count on, rather than just one friend, so that you do not have to worry about burdening your friends and family too much.
If you find yourself talking about your breakup excessively, it may be good to contact a counselor.

Don’t compare yourself to others.

Everyone goes through breakups differently, and there’s nothing wrong with that. A person can go through a break up today six months later, they find someone else and get married after.

There are so many different factors involved in recovering from a painful breakup. Maybe your relationship was over way before it officially ended. Maybe you didn’t get any closure after your breakup, or it was your first love you lost.

In order to allow yourself to heal, you have to stop comparing yourself to others. Be happy for your friends who are dating, getting married, and having kids. Celebrate with them.

Take good care of yourself.

Self-care was never something I was good at. I always cared more about others and never made time for myself.
It is also an incentive to treat oneself to certain services or activities you normally would not even consider such as getting monthly massages, participating in yoga classes regularly and travelling.

Meditation, Yoga, And Exercise

Meditation, yoga, and exercise are significantly helpful  during the “healing from heartbreak” phase of getting ready to love again.
Other, more intense forms of exercise like cardio and weight-lifting are also great ways to help yourself get over a breakup. It is a productive way to spend your free time. Exercising and getting stronger is also a big confidence boost. If you are hesitant to love again out of fear of getting your heart broken once more, a confidence boost might be what you need to feel ready to put yourself back out there.

Give yourself the time you need before jumping into a new relationship.

In some cases, you may be eager to fall in love again after a breakup to replace the companionship that you felt with your former partner. While loving again after heartbreak is a great accomplishment, it is best not to rush into it. If you try to fall in love again too quickly, you are likely to be still holding on to some emotional baggage from your past relationship that could be detrimental to your attempts to love again.

There’s a saying, “the best way to get over someone is to find someone else.” Well, I’m here to brief you that even though it seems like this works, people repeatedly hit the wall when they try to rush the process of not allowing themselves to heal from a broken heart before moving on to the next person.

Initially, I went on a bunch of dates, sometimes two in one day. Yes, it distracted me from what I was feeling, but it wasn’t healthy or fair to the people I was seeing. Emotionally, it became exhausting.

Even if you think you are ready to fall in love again very soon after enduring heartbreak, it actually may be harder to find someone to date, as many people unconsciously put up some emotional barriers in the wake of heartbreak. Trying to date too soon after a breakup can make you feel even more discouraged about the possibility of finding love again in the future.

Positive Thinking

The way we think and talk to ourselves can have a huge impact on our emotions. This is especially important when recovering from a breakup. To ease the process of healing so that you can learn to love again, you need to think positively about the future of your love life.

Journal For transmission

Writing about your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, is proven to help people cope with the negative feelings brought on from break-ups, like depression and anxiety. Seeing your thoughts and feelings out on paper can also help you see things from a different perspective and can be a valuable tool in helping you to learn to love again.

Put Yourself Out there

Once you have given yourself adequate time to heal, you have to put yourself out there to meet new people. Try picking up a new activity or sport that you have always been interested in, or attending speed dating or networking events in your city.

There is joy all around us. Sometimes, it’s easy to forget that, especially when you’re going through something tough like a breakup.

You become a different person after a heartbreak. It allows you to realize how rare and wonderful it is to find love. I’ve learned to become comfortable in solitude and appreciate being by myself.
Remember that no matter how unlikely it may seem in the wake of heartbreak, you can love again and will love again. 侘寂 (Wabi-sabi)

“Your heart will be shaped and reshaped but in the end, it will still be yours. As humans we are blessed with the skill of adaptation, it’s kept us here for eons, you will adapt” Unknown.

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